It’s my last night in Moscow and for the occasion I thought I would look back on my brief time in Moscow and think of some things I have learned about Moscow, not sure how practical they are, but still:

1.  Make sure you see the sites at night, it’s a must

2.  Walking across the road, make sure you leave PLENTY of space between you and any cars coming on the horizon (and when you think you have left enough space double it)!  I went to cross the road today with the guide just getting out of the car, and he screamed for me to stop.  I turned and asked why because I couldn’t see a car for ages, he said that Russian drivers can drive very fast and often don’t slow down for pedestrians.  Now, I didn’t get this fact checked, so I am not sure if it’s true, but if you saw my twitter video the other day (ie people driving way too fast to handle the black ice on the road), and based on the taxi ride from the airport, I thought I would pass it on.

3.  Do not assume the guards at the Red Square have a sense of humour, in fact, if you are a chicken and can not speak any Russian, I may even suggest sitting this one out.  But, if you enjoy a full body/cavity search – then be my guest.

4. If you have a guide that shows you around to the shops in the area, it’s probably best you don’t drink every vodka shot they offer you, despite what you think, it’s not rude to turn it down! (But it sure makes things more interesting)

5.  Oh, if you are up for some illegal drag racing, Sparrow Hills is the place.  On the same note, if you wish to be caught by the police drag racing, Sparrow HIlls is the place.  If you just want to watch to see if they get away with it….well, you know where to go….or so I am told!

6.  Lastly, yes the toilet/sink water turns the opposite direction to the southern hemisphere (I know it’s been said a million times, but it’s always cool to see it for yourself)

So, what do you do when you have had some busy days in Moscow, lots of fun and tonnes of walking?  You retire to your bed, here is mine (as you can see I am a messy chicken!), with a great view that’s hard to see at night (with this camera):

And I know you are all wondering “and what did this adventurous chicken eat”?  Something local, new and exciting?  Something fresh and fantastic to finish off the trip with?  Well, errrr no.  Despite our better judgement we spent the last night in Moscow eating hotel food.   Here’s me claiming all the wedges to myself (oh and lets not forget the coke with the bendy straw, you gotta love a good bendy straw):

I now say goodbye and spi-ceee-ba (I didn’t learn how to write it) to Moscow, and tomorrow I am back on the plane, heading to Paris.

Oops, forgot to show you some more photos from victory park, this is the main monument, a bit of a crappy photo, but you get the general idea. Is it just me, or do I have a bit of a radioactive tinge? …..maybe it’s just wishful thinking, I kinda like the sound of “Chicken the Hulk”

This monument is located on Poklonnaya Gora, the highest site in Moscow, the park is huge and the views of Moscow are impressive, if you go, make sure you check it out at night, as many buildings are lit up.

After hearing Napoleon was left waiting in vain for the keys to the Kremlin here in 1812, all I can say is at least he had a good view! (not to mention, anyone that leaves Napoleon waiting is pretty awesome in this chickens book).

PS  Heheheh looks like the monument is bent……  yea, I know small things etc etc

Before I talk about Lenin’s Mausoleum, Let me tell you about my day…

First, I tried to get into the Red Square. We get held up by the guards checking everyone’s bag, and when it’s my turn to go through the guard can’t figure out what I was! He starts feeling me in all sorts of places, then tries to pull me apart – OUCH! I certainly didn’t say thank you to him!! Since he couldn’t speak English, and I only knew how to say one word, and our guide was far away, things were looking very bleak.

Luckily our guide came back and explained to the guard who I was (I am sure he said I was ‘very, very important’!!). Unfortunately, the guard didn’t quite understand, apparently I am the first traveling chicken he had seen. Luckily, after about 20mins, and some very unhappy people lining up behind us, the guard gave in and he allowed me to go through.

We finally got to see Lenin’s Mausoleum!

We didn’t get to go in and see his body though. You see our guide went home, it was getting late, and all bags had to be inspected again before you could go in, and since I was well aware of the guards feelings towards me, I decided to pass.

What trip to Russia would be complete without seeing the KGB headquarters? This large, imposing and slightly eerie Building housed the infamous Lubyanka Prison. You can’t help but wonder about the secrets and deaths that went on within the walls. Pretty scary stuff for this little Chicken!

HA tricked you!

I am ok, I am lying in front of the fountains in Moscow’s Victory Park…..it represents the bloodshed from the war with Nazi Germany.  These fountains run all the way down the path…..it’s very cool!

While looking around Moscow at night, I found one of my favourite buildings (that I don’t have a picture of), it’s the Moscow University…..you should look it up. Looove it (especially at night)!

Here is me infront of the Red Square with the Cathedral of the Annunciation, Cathedral of the Assumption, Cathedral of the Archangel and the Bell Tower.

Pity I don’t have photos of me inside of the Cathedral’s as they were fantastic, if you are ever there you must have a look (I do have photos of them, I just forgot to get in them)

While I was minding my own business and enjoying the view, it seems someone took a photo of my backside!!

And I don’t have any pants on!

The Grand Kremlin Palace from across the river:

Very Impressive!

It was here my tour guide was trying to teach me some Russian.  It seems that pronouncing many common phrases in Russian does not come naturally to this chicken, in fact the tour guide found my lack of skills quite amusing.  Luckily, we discovered I could say ‘Thank you’ (pronounced spic-ee-ba), this turned me into super polite chicken, I would have made my parents proud!

Thank you!

After around 36 hours of getting on and off planes (luckily they changed the plane that was having electrical issues in Frankfurt before we got on it), and approximately 42 hours of no sleep (hey, who can sleep when you have a personal tv with billions of movies and games on it, getting offered lots of food, running around the plane under everyone’s feet, while flying through the clouds – I was literally in Chicken heaven, without the dead part – You can’t get much better than that!)……

I arrived in Moscow!

After a scare from my fellow traveler, who thought he had lost his wallet, but didn’t as it was safe in his bag the whole time (The terrified look on his face was most amusing), we arrived at our hotel – and how great was the view:

I had decided at that very moment that I already loved Moscow!